HIV/AIDS

[paralyzer]

HI. Im new to this, so please bear with me. I am extremely worried that I have HIV bc I seem to have the symptoms..I have been with the same man who I know is STD free for about 9 months.. before him I was single, and went thru a very bad depression started drinking heavily, in which i had a few nights with a couple of different men, so I know that I am now considered high risk. The last time I was tested was 3 years ago.
Recently, I am not myself at all. I have pain in my armpits, my neck(sometimes) and now my left side of my groin. I have recently notices I wake up in the middle of the night, and im a little sweaty, but my 5 year old usually is too.. sometimes I go to take a deep breath and I have a shortness, and now I dont know if depression and anxiety are causing more symptoms for me. I am a hypercondriact, but I def feel pain in my nodes in different areas at different times, and they seem to be a little tender..i dont think they are swollen though. A few months ago I developed a rash went to the doc and he said it was something Rosea, and extremely common, i asked if it was HIV related and he laughed at me..I told him I read it online, and he adviced me to never look for med stuff online.
I bruise easy, my gums bleed when I brush, my jaw hurts (i do clench at night) I feel tired, have no desire to go out, I feel week...
I dont have thrush, or weight loss, no diarreah or loss of appetite, my major symptoms are the sweating at night(sometimes) and the lymph nodes...I find that when I keep myself busy and im not concentrating on my symptoms, i dont notice them...but i know that something is wrong and now I am mentally diving into this deep depression I feel so scared and alone...I broke up with my boyfriend bc I couldnt have sex anymore for fear I have something..I look at my little girl and I cry bc I know if I have this, I will give her up for fear I will accidentally give it to her.. I am extremely scared to get tested bc even though now Im scared every moment of every day, I still have that little ounce of hope and its not a reality...Please help me...

[kimme]

What are you so paranoid about? You haven't been tested and no medical doctor told you that you have HIV. Let me tell you this' you were not afraid to have sex with these men so then do not be afraid to get tested as well. I hope that you've let your ex know what it is the real reason for the breakup because you owe him that much. Its better to know early so that you can be treated without much complications than too late where you would not be able to assist your kids and see them grow up. Think about them and do the right thing and get tested so that you know where you will go from here.