Pediatric Urology

[livingwith]

Early in the 1980s, when I was three or four, I suffered from recurrent urinary tract infections. The doctors at Children’s Hospital in decided to test me for reflux. I believe the doctor’s words to my mother before this procedure were, “This is not something a mother should see.” Charming.
Suffice to say she was not present. I don’t remember any real details. I remember that I liked and trusted the nurse as she prepared me. But then the Doctor came in and everything started to go hor...Read the full article

[metoo1]

Hi,
I don't know how long ago you wrote this so I'm not sure you'll even see this post. But I wanted to say first, thank you very much for sharing your story. I am in complete agreement with you that the medical community needs a serious wake-up call regarding the long-term emotional consequences of the VCUG experience in childhood. It blows my mind, and frankly makes me very angry, that this procedure is still being extremely widely used with no sedation and billed as "harmless", "painless", etc.
If you do some searching online you will find that there have actually been studies regarding the trauma of sexual abuse in children which have used children undergoing VCUG because it is "the closest thing" that they have to approximate child sexual abuse (for the purposes of controlled scientific studies, where they obviously can't ethically recreate the actual experience of sexual abuse for the purpose of studying it). Shouldn't the fact that they are using VCUG as a stand-in for the trauma of childhood sexual abuse give people a hint that there can be serious psychological consequences for many VCUG patients??
In case you haven't figured it out by now, I am one of these patients. I had a VCUG in the 1970's at the age of 4 and, like you, it has affected the whole rest of my life and my sexuality. I, too, felt it was somehow "my fault" that it had happened to me; I too internalized shame, fear, and defensiveness about any perceived invasions of my body mixed with a very uncomfortable sexual submissiveness; and I developed a fear of/aversion to male doctors which has persisted throughout my life.
I guess I just wanted to let you know you are not alone in having had this procedure affect your life this way, and I wanted to thank you for letting me know that I am not, either. Please reply if you'd like to discuss this further.
Best wishes.

[me2sad]

me too. I had vcugs as a little kid too - probably ages 4 to 6/7. I'm not sure how many. I think I may have been lightly sedated at times b/c I remember the doctor asking me to count backwards, but even so, I remember a lot. I feel like I remember all of it, but b/c of the sedation I was unable to react and to get away and to protect myself. I was just trapped there, feeling everything, hearing everything, but not being able to move. I remember the feeling, the sensations of the whole thing. I remember being scared, feeling pain, feeling embarrassed, alone, on display, ashamed. I have flashbacks even today, over 30 years later, where I can hear all the hospital sounds, hear the dr telling me to relax, recall the smells, feel the catheter, the fingers, feel the sheets, and, of course, the fear and shame are always there. Seriously, it was like being raped, but having to comply, having five people watching it, and just being a little kid ... and no one cared and when it was over you were cleaned up and sent home to play like nothing happened. And no one really cares now. You just have to deal with how messed up you are. I thought I was a freak and crazy for a very long time. At least I now know why I'm like this, so that's a little bit of a relief, but I'll never be ok. I'll never be normal - no matter how much therapy I get.

The medical community continues to act like this procedure is nothing, routine, no problem. It's a sin against the very soul of a child and it's wrong. Period. Find another way.