Testosterone Deficiency

[livingwith]

This causes more problems than most women are able to admit. Low T in a man makes him less like he was when he was young. Not only does he have low libido, he does not care. He does not show affection, is not lovable, makes no mention of his feelings, like he has none and does not want any. Always grumpy and yet he insists that the wasy he acts has nothing to do with how he feels about me and I take it all as a personal rejection. He never holds my hands, kisses me like my brother does, se...Read the full article

[alone2gether]

I am living in the same circumstances. I'm 44, my husband is 49, been married for 22 years. You have exactly described my life as it is today. Up until about three years ago we had a nicely active and very satisfying love life. Now, his interest gone, it doesn't "work" without popping a pill and even then it just not the same. His general disposition is grumpy and lifeless. He has no zest for life - its as if I married a man 20 years older than myself. I am extremely unhappy and feel very much alone. I feel way to young to live the rest of my life this way - what happened to the partner, friend, lover I had? This seems to be a topic no one wants to talk about - I know I'm sensitive with it for his sake, but I need some answers and direction on improving our situation.

[felix]

First, it is so important that you can talk. We do. I talk and he listens and says and does nothing. I have gone to counceling and have been told that he may be doing all that he can. If he does not desire sex and says that it is not my fault, I have to accept that and I just can't. He swears that I am not the cause. But, he has turned me against him because I feel rejection. I am angry at him and will always blame him for where we are in our marriage today. I don't feel that we can ever get back what we have lost and he feels that all is ok just as it is. Said that he always knew that some day we would have a problem like this because sex always meant more to me than it did to him. But, I don't remember it that way at all. He was very loving and kind and sexual. I was never so happy in my life. Was my second husband and I was truly blessed to have him. Why can't they treat us like we matter? It does not have to lead to the act. Far be it from me to make him do anything that he does not want to but I am his wife and deserve to be treated special. I do everything for him medically and managing the household but I do not like being treated like I am his sister. He knows all of this but says that this is just where he is right now. Has never even said that he was sorry that he has let me down. I told him 10 years ago that he was letting our marriage and what we had slip away. Was it because his testerone was lowering then and he was fatigued?

[learningaboutT]

To the original poster: Thank you for having the courage to post this.

A grumpy, lethargic, uncaring, nonsexual, passive, negative partner is not someone that ANYONE, male or female, wants to spend the rest of their life with!!!!!!

And just as a woman in need of hormone therapy may be going through some of those symptoms, a man in need of Testosterone is a miserable creature. I say that not to put men down; but rather, to say that not only is the wife miserable, but he himself is experiencing misery daily.

I love my husband very dearly; but shortly after we were married I discovered this was the way life with him was going to be (grumpy, angry, short-tempered, blaming others for everything, no energy to get out of bed and go to work, no sex, failed and rejected attempts at sex, etc., etc., you name it....)

Once I realized this was just HIM (later found out about the low T), I was ready to pack my bags and leave.

GUYS please please please at least listen when your wife suggests there might be relationship/intimacy issues in your marriage. SHE IS NOT CRITICIZING YOU PERSONALLY!!! She is begging you to join with her in figuring out how to make things BETTER for the BOTH of you!!!! Believe me, if you don't listen, most women will be out the door after the first 4 or 5 times she finds herself on the wrong end of an affectionless husband's anger.

I was definitely ready to leave my husband if he didn't seek help. Life with him was more miserable than anything I could have imagined prior to marrying him.

THE HORMONE REPLACEMENT THERAPY WORKS. IT HELPS. IT MAKES LIFE BETTER FOR THE BOTH OF YOU!

There are only two other options if you choose not to get therapy for low T. (1) Continue to feel awful, have no energy, have very little if any satisfying sex, and live in a miserable marriage, or, (2) if your spouse should choose to leave the miserable marriage, go through all of #1 and go through it completely alone.

Felix I truly feel for you - Not long ago I told my husband that if he couldn't show me SOME kind of affection (we have been married all of SIX MONTHS - I am 32 and he is 45), that I was either going to leave him, or, if I stayed, I would bury all of my love and affection way down deep where he would never, ever get any affection from me ever again. I hated myself as soon as I said it, but it really was true. A life lived with someone who never shows any affection or sweetness - no woman deserves that kind of cruelty. It IS cruelty, it is a form of abuse to deliberately withhold love from someone that you vow to love and care for as long as you live, and honestly I don't know if you should confront him with it verbally or hit him over the head with a rolling pin every damn time he's cruel to you.

[jearnest]

I have a 4yr old son. there might be a possibility that he has low testosterone levels and might affect his puberty stages. fortunately the DR. detected it early and following outcome of tests, he might need to take injections to boost his testosterone so that he can enter into normal puberty. will his growing up be normal and will this affect his lifespan?