Vasectomy

[livingwith]

Hello i am engaged to a man that had a vasectomy before our relationship ever started. He had the procedure done because of a prior pregnancy that ended in abotion. This had nothing to do with me. I feel as though i am the one being punished for the decisons of another. I hate the thought but love my fiance very much. Dont know if i will ever really deal with this. I personally think that the procedure is a very drastic measure to take. I do not agree with it. Please men think about your...Read the full article

[Staceycat]

I totally agree with you. My husband and I have been married 1 yr and we want to have kids. He had a vasectomy in 2001 because his ex wife made him (he has 2 kids). In 2004 we had an unsuccessful reversal and in June of 2007 we had a 2nd reversal. The sperm count is very low and that concerns me but we'll have to see.....

Good luck to you. It is not an easy road.

[annaramos]

I have a different angle. My husband and I decided to have a vasectomy about 7 years ago. I wondered if we consider a reversal if insurance will cover that. Was this something covered by your husbands insurance if not is it very costly to have a reversal?

[Staceycat]

Hi,

A reversal is not covered by insurance and costs about $10,000.

[NoName]

I'm sorry to hear your story and respect (not agree) your opinion. You have a very hard decision to make and I wish you the best of luck. I'm scheduled for my vasectomy December 3rd with the support of my wife of 12 years because we already have our family. Even if something was to ever happen to my wife, most likely if I was to ever re-marry (I'm now 37), my new wife would most likely already have children from another marrage anyway. think between her kids and mine, we would already be a full house without another baby. Anyway, I can relate to your story because before I met my wife, I dated a girl who I was in very much love with. She already had 2 children (both with different men) and 5 abortions before I even met her. As a result, she couldn't have another baby again. Of course she told this to me after I fell in love with her and her two kids. Years ago before I ever met her, I made a promise to myself that I would hold a life in my arm that I made. She told me this after she and her kids moved in and we set a wedding date, I was forced to make the hardest decission in my life. I based on my feelings and what I wanted in my life. I realized that I couldn't hold her against the decisions she made before she met me but it was not fair that I would have to suffer my life and dreams because of her choices and not mine. If I was to ever have a life together with her I would either have to accept her and the choices she made before I met her and never complain about it or move on with my own life without her. It was hard and painful decission especially because of her kids who loved me and were excited about me adopting them after the wedding. I'm sure you can figure out what I did. Again, I understand your story and understand your hard choice. Just remember, what he choose to do before he met you was his choice and not yours and you don't have to pay for his mistake. They made their decisions, not us! I wish you the best.

[lhb]

Hi. I can really relate to your story. I am 44, my husband is 40 and had a vasectomy 11 years ago after his partner had an ectopic preganancy. I do struggle with this issue, not simply because we can't have kids, but because it's such a radical step to take, especially if you are young, as my husband was, and don't have a family. For me, psychologically, a layer of meaning has been taken away from our love making, and at times that is hard to live with. His decision also wasn't one he shared with his family, which further complicates things. Guys, think really carefully if you're in this kind of situation, and remember that the decision you make can have far reaching consequences on others too.

[Staceycat]

Just an update that December 17th I found out I was pregnant!!!! DH had reversal #2 in June and they told us the count was low but it worked! Good luck to everyone. Miracles happen!

[natalie]+]

Congrats! My huspand had a reversal after 8 years at the end of September of last year. I just found out I am 4 weeks pregnant!!! I wish you the absolute best of luck, and pure happiness!!!

[Sonja]

Dear Natalie, did your husband have any treatments after the reversal? We had it done ± 17 months ago after 17 years and still nothing. I'm so frustrated and it's causing problems in our relationship. Please, any help will be welcomed.

Sonja

[natalie]+]

Just an update I am now 23 weeks pregnant, and everything is going good. We are definitley having a girl. I am going to be very honest with you because I know that hurt and frustration you feel. I found out after my huspand reversal that I have polycystic ovaries. I was aware that I had a slight case of endometriosis which I had surgery for several years ago. With my huspand issue plus mine I thought my chances were slim to nothing. After my huspand had his reversal in September he had to go back for a check up in I believe November where they did a sperm count. They said he had several dead sperm but there was some swimmers, but the more we had sex the count would get higher. My GYN put me on ovulation medication to get me ovulating, and after so many days after the medication I had to go for blood work to see if it worked, well, it didn't. I thought to myself this was just so horrible, and I continued to feel overly sorry for myself because everywhere I looked people were having babies, and I wanted that love so much. My GYN called and informed me that she greatly recommended a fertilization clinic in our town for our situation. I fought and battled this so hard, but we decided that we may have to go the extra mile in order to get what we want. I was surprised to find my insurance covered pretty much everything. They ran some tests and he told me that the best treatment for me was going to be the artifical insemination. This is not what I wanted to hear but I decided that I went for assistance so I would have to be willing to accept it, it wasn't bad news becasuse it was still my huspand and I making a child. They informed me that the first treatment hardly ever works and that it may take even 4 of 5 to get pregnant. I thought I'd die if the first didn't work because the treatment was in March of this year and I had a mindset to have a baby before the end of the year. One morning before the treatment I woke up and realyzed that I was being so selffish wanting everything when I wanted it or else just be depressed about it. My attitude was putting great stress on our relationship. I honestly made up my mind that what the important thing was to let everything happen when it suppose to, and as always things can always be way worse. Suddenly the getting pregnant was so important anymore, and I felt this huge load off of my shoulders, no more stress about it or anything. We went for the treatment in March and two weeks later got a call that I am definitley pregnant after one treatment. I know my situation is probably way different than yours, but what I want you to know is I truely feel that what we had to go through to bring a child into the world is going to make everything so much sweeter. Don't let you and your huspands relationship get in a bind over this, remember how much you love each other and all of your good times together. Your time will come, and I hated hearing this myself but it is the truth Be Patient! Take care, I truley hope this helped you a little!